Monday, March 4, 2013
Red Rover, Red Rover
You know that moment when you realize things are about to go horribly, terribly wrong? Right before your stomach clenches and your adrenaline takes over? Yeah. You know the feeling. Like when you realize your toddler is about to fall off the couch, into the all glass coffee table headfirst (Who in their right mind has an all glass coffee table with a toddler)?
Anyway, that was just an example but I did have that feeling several times this weekend. The first was while sitting in the drive up line for eleventybillion hours after successfully spending $200 in 20 minutes buying the "essentials"...toilet paper, laundry detergent...you know the drill. A talented and youthful driver rear ended my very small and inconspicuous VAN. Then, on my way home from the very same shopping expedition, cruising right on down our snow and ice covered gravel road at a not excessive speed, the tires left the center of the road, the van went into the ditch, out of the ditch, sideways and then finally frontways. It was all very exciting and terrifying. And this morning, it happened again. I was driving with one arm (Which I will explain momentarily) down a snow covered alley way, holding my phone with that same shoulder, talking to my sister about who would do pick up and drop off for preschool. I had just told her I really needed to hang up because I could only use one arm and it was really snowy when I realized I hung up entirely too late. I had to be dug and then pushed out. Genius. And that brings me to WHY I was driving with one arm and the final near death incident from my little weekend of horrors.
Yesterday was my nephew's fifth birthday. My sisters and I all had boys within a few months of each other so these events are always a bit crazy and chaotic with all our kids. It was held at a local community gymnasium. The kids were all playing basketball and after several small people took basketballs to the head, I, in hindsight, STUPIDLY thought a nice, quiet, friendly game of Red Rover would be just the thing. We were trying to be fair and call everyone over. The only person on the opposite team, who had not been called over was the hubs. The competitor extraordinaire. He is normally not an over zealous type of guy but when it comes to competition, he is FIERCE! Even against kids, he will never "let" someone win. Levi was on my left, he whispered something to the effect that the hubs was coming for the two of us. And I knew he was right. I also knew it was going to be full force. I freaked. Levi, who is also EXTREMELY competitive assured me we could stop him. He grabbed my hand and squeezed with all his might, and as if in slow motion the hubs began running straight for us. And I knew. I knew right away it was going to be bad. The hubs hit, Levi squeezed, I felt a huge pop and my arm went numb. Yup. Numb. And then it hurt. It hurt so badly, I cried. A lot. Everyone was pushing me to go to the urgent care and some were trying to touch me or look at my arm and all I wanted to do was punch someone in the face. HARD! I am not sure why I didn't realize this was the way it was going to go before I started the game. What I do know is that from now on the only games we will be playing at family functions will be of the 100% no contact variety. Maybe a rousing game of duck, duck, goose.